Christmas Hell-a-Day Recipe
Volume: Loud HO! HO! HO!
Issue: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Date: December 15, 2021
This recipe is inspired by comedian and pianist Victor Borge: “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”
Christmas Hell-a-Day Recipe
Prep time: 364 days
Cook time: 1 day
Expiration date: December 25th, midnight
Ingredients:
1 Family, optional: grandparents, not-so-grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, half-sisters and half-brothers, step-sisters and step-brothers, stepping on each others’ sisters and brothers, family dogs and cats, gerbils
1 Christmas tree, lit (like some of the relatives)
300 presents plus 4,000 sq. ft. of wrapping paper and 300 bows
1 Fruitcake—the dessert, not the uncle (fruitcake is optional, as one family fruitcake is one too many)
Too much eggnog
1 Heavy dose of Christmas spirit
1 Political fight
1 Blockbuster movie to pacify everyone after too much ham spiraled during the political fight
Dash of joyous expectations (dash refers to the size, not the dashing of joy!)
1 Shopping trip to the big box store that opens Christmas Day at 2pm to exchange gifts
Instructions:
Mix all ingredients together.
Lower the heat and lower the expectations. The lower the expectations, the greater the fun.
Spread a generous amount of joy over all.
Rest for 364 days. Repeat the above recipe.
Eat, drink, and be merry as you cherish family and friends this holiday season,
Irene